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The Lifeline

Rules, rules, rules

Published 2 months ago • 1 min read

Hello Reader,

So much I do as a parent goes against "the rules."
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You can find whole books written about the rules.
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You can find rules for every aspect of childhood and parenting.
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More important than following them, in my mind, is questioning them.
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Question the validity and the necessity.
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Question who wrote them and what their intention was.
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Do it even for the things you have always engraved as givens.
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Do it because you value your relationship with your child and their mental health over control.
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Because most of the rules out there, even ones that claim to put love first, were designed to put parents in control.
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Most of us have never seen examples of solid, "out of control" parenting looks like. Just made that up, but I like it.
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The messages about control are so strong that letting go of it feels really uncomfortable.
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But we are in the game of raising autonomous human beings.
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We need to dare to let them test the waters.
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With the support of an adult they trust not to treat them differently if they make a mistake (that's where the relationship part comes in).
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Less control. More autonomy. More connection and trust.
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If the rules you follow aren't in service of these three things, why are you following them?

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Your partner in parenting,

Julia McGarey

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PS

Are you looking to build more trust, connection, and autonomy into your relationship with your child? Coaching together might be a great fit for you. Schedule a consultation and we'll explore the possibilities.​

The Lifeline

by Julia McGarey

So you say you're feeling overwhelmed by this whole parenting thing? Your child is intense, strong-willed, has big emotions, and you are just hanging on? Or maybe they are slow to warm up and getting them to do anything new feels like a struggle... Wherever you are, it can feel isolating when everyone around you seems to have it so easy. And they're so full of advice, but it just doesn't work for your child. Welcome, friend. The Lifeline is my weekly-ish email for parents just like you. You are not alone, and you don't have to grit your teeth and just get through it. You can change the dynamic within your family. You can reclaim your life. One day at a time. One email at a time. I can't wait for you to join us.

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