So you say you're feeling overwhelmed by this whole parenting thing? Your child is intense, strong-willed, has big emotions, and you are just hanging on? Or maybe they are slow to warm up and getting them to do anything new feels like a struggle... Wherever you are, it can feel isolating when everyone around you seems to have it so easy. And they're so full of advice, but it just doesn't work for your child. Welcome, friend. The Lifeline is my weekly-ish email for parents just like you. You are not alone, and you don't have to grit your teeth and just get through it. You can change the dynamic within your family. You can reclaim your life. One day at a time. One email at a time. I can't wait for you to join us.
Is resilience really the answer?
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Hello Reader, Recently I saw a comment on a facebook ad asking what to do for their sensitive child who was having trouble with school. According to the commenter, the teacher was trying to fit their child into a box of conformity. One person responeded, "homeschool." Then someone called them out for being privileged. Then, the coach who published the ad said something about there being no need to homeschool because you can help your child be more resilient and thrive in that environment by being a strong leader and helping them learn how to handle situations like that. Y'all. Even if our relationship never goes beyond this message right here, I want you to think critically about that message and be ready to back away from anyone who's trying to sell you on it. Your child does not need to learn to tolerate people who prioritize conformity over their well-being or place artificial limits on them. For example, they do not need to just accept the first grade teacher who tells them that they can only read books from the first grade list, even though they are reading at a fifth grade level. They don't need to tolerate people who are crushing their spirit and demand that they conform. True, these situations come up, and we want our kids to learn to handle them. But putting all the emphasis on your child's resilience and zero emphasis on holding the system accountable for providing an educational "right fit" is misguided. Lead with listening. Believe your child. And help them figure out how to cope, but do it alongside exploring other possibilities. It doesn't have to be homeschool. Not everyone is prepared or able to homeschool (although it is likely more accessible than you think). It might be working with the teacher. It might be transferring to a different teacher. It might be transferring to a different school. Give yourself some time, keep listening, and keep helping them figure out how to cope with their circumstances. For now. And remember, sometimes the environment makes all the difference. You are setting them up for success, not failure, by looking for an environment that is the right fit for them. Your partner in parenting, Julia McGarey PS I coach parents on all stages of their journey parenting their highly sensitive, gifted, and twice-exceptional children. Whether you are looking to change your reactions, create more connection, or navigate a difficult transition, I'm your coach. The first step in working together is to schedule a one-hour consultation to see if we are a good fit. Click the button below to claim your spot in my calendar.
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The Lifeline
So you say you're feeling overwhelmed by this whole parenting thing? Your child is intense, strong-willed, has big emotions, and you are just hanging on? Or maybe they are slow to warm up and getting them to do anything new feels like a struggle... Wherever you are, it can feel isolating when everyone around you seems to have it so easy. And they're so full of advice, but it just doesn't work for your child. Welcome, friend. The Lifeline is my weekly-ish email for parents just like you. You are not alone, and you don't have to grit your teeth and just get through it. You can change the dynamic within your family. You can reclaim your life. One day at a time. One email at a time. I can't wait for you to join us.
Hello Reader, So much I do as a parent goes against "the rules."You can find whole books written about the rules.You can find rules for every aspect of childhood and parenting.More important than following them, in my mind, is questioning them.Question the validity and the necessity.Question who wrote them and what their intention was.Do it even for the things you have always engraved as givens.Do it because you value your relationship with your child and their mental health over...
Hello Reader, I'm sending you this email from a new email address - partneredpathparenting@gmail.com. You might want to add it to your contacts to make sure you're it doesn't go to your junk folder. But that's just housekeeping. The real reason I'm writing today is to share something that happened with my daughter recently and how we worked through it. It's a fantastic example of coaching and being coachable, and it illustrates exactly why I love what I do. These principles work for kids and...
Hello Reader, I'm thinking about all of you raising siblings this morning. When you are raising siblings and one of them (or more!) brings intensity to the table, it is natural to think about how it impacts the others. They need more of your attention, so you worry about the others getting less. They disrupt the flow of family life, so you worry about the way it will impact the others. And the others tell you it's not fair. They question what you're doing. They want things to change. And you...